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| MAY
29 - No School because of Memorial Day
JUNE
2nd - SENIORS LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL!!!
3rd and 4th - Open Houses
8th - GRADUATION and All Senior All Night Party!
9th thru 11th - more Open Houses
11th - My Open House!!!
17th - off to the Philippines and Japan
JULY
Before the 15th - Back from the Philippines and Japan
16th and 17th - IU Orientation
AUGUST
23rd thru 27th - IU Welcome Week... hello college
the next few months will go by too fast
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| I personally don't enjoy being left hanging... I hate the feeling of being incomplete, knowing there is something missing or something isn't right. I feel very incomplete. I don't know where I stand on anything anymore. school, vacations, college, relationships... nothing. you're saying to yourself, second semester senior... what the hell is she worrying about. school is still a bitch. I'm not even sure if I want to go to California, there's a part of me that wants to stay here even if that means being here alone. college has probably been bugging me since I decided where I was going. will I really like it there? god only knows how much I don't want to be one of those people who transfers colleges every semester. and relationships... oh god.
I probably feel the most incomplete in that department, especially because prom is coming up. I don't even know how to define what I have. it's a semi-relationship... no... a very incomplete relationship if I can even call it a relationship. I feel retarded for thinking it might even work, that maybe he would stick around for awhile. but I can't blame him, high school senior, freshman in college... going to Indiana, he's staying here, yup I'm retarded. but when a person says they've liked you since you were a freshman how are you suppose to react... well for me it was not being able to take off that silly smile for a good day and a half. and the text message in the morning the next day... loved it. "sweetie", "babe" yeah I loved that too. but now.. not even a "hey" online. yup... I've fallen into the trap.
I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT GIRL WAITING BY THE DAMN PHONE!
shit, I just won't be her. so about prom... "D nice" can sure as fuck ask me if he likes... but shit I'm not going to force him to do anything. I'd rather go alone that force him to take me. and since this "relationship" seems to be going no where anymore I think I'll just leave it be.
I'm pretty speechless | | |
| i am a freak, a weirdo, a strange human being. i, am a freak.
i'm a freak because i like to stretch before i go to school, and meditate before i go to sleep. i like to color coordinate my clothes in my closet and organize them by length. i like to sleep with 5 pillows 2 of which are for my feet. i like eating with one leg up on the island in my kitchen. i don't like wearing shoes but i own shit loads of them. i change my clothes at least 3 times a day. i hate wearing a watch because i don't think people should be restricted by time, but i think it's awful to be late. i'm agnostic but still attend church for holidays, birthdays, and death anniversaries. i have a buying problem where i buy pretty much everything even if i don't need it, like conditioner... which i don't really use. i'm allergic to metal and get hives on my stomach because of the buttons on my jeans. i'm also allergic to penicillin, you can read that on the back of my license. i like putting on the craziest make up for no reason at all but hate when people see me with it on, so i wash my face as soon as i'm done making a fool of myself in front of myself. and i sing along to Big and Rich by myself in my car. i never travel out of the country without my yellow teddy bear. and i own a calender but i don't use it. i take shit loads of pictures but never develop the film or take them out of my digital camera until my memory is full. and i keep balloons until they are completely deflated. i dry flowers from every performance i've been in. and i own furniture from Ikea which i haven't used yet. my room is a mess but my family is one of the cleanest families i know. and everyone says i look like my mom, but i don't see it. i keep track of how many crunches/sit-ups i do in a day, and work out to the Center Stage soundtrack. i don't wear shoes inside peoples houses because i think it's rude, now i'm starting not to wear shoes in the classroom either. i have major ocd when it comes to rain on my windshield and how i turn on the lights in my kitchen and upstairs walk way.
i suppose i wouldn't be me if i didn't do all these things, would i? | | |
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